One thing is to drive change. The other is when change is happening to you. Change is inevitable — the moment when it comes to your awareness, a heavy slab of stress falls on you. Take it as a good sign. You are alive. Stress is an invitation to action, the typical reaction of our mind and body to circumstances that require our attention. If you do not act, it turns into constant pressure, draining your resources, which can go far below zero.
To understand stress, consider it a physics process — pressure comes from a potential difference. It’s not defined by how bad the situation is but instead driven by specific internal conflict multiplied by the time it remains unresolved: one thought contradicts another, or thoughts and actions are taking different directions. Being a great parent, spending more time with your family. And being a great professional, overinvesting in your job. Promise to hold back and take care of yourself. And signing up for another greedy development opportunity. If you are stressed, start by looking for where your personality split is happening.
When the change is “announced,” the very first stress comes from the urge to act and no action. “Ah, I love things as they are now,” — you start to bargain with yourself. Meanwhile, every cell of your body screams: “Look, there is a lion!“. You can’t just turn your back on this. Pay attention. Process it. Decide something. Do nothing? Maybe you are locked in the house, and the lion doesn’t have a key. Good for you. Do something? Run? Fight? Play dead? Whatever you decide, the potential difference now will be between the decision and your actions. It’s much more bearable than the conflict between change and no decision. Congratulations, you are in control again.
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